happy new year
ugh
there you take my hands back... replace me
i hate waiting for people to respond... hashtag jury's OUT bitches!!
i have like 3 people that i've sent writing to that haven't responded... the first 3 adult writers I've ever sent my writing to... it's just an unhelpful gulp, in the back of my throat, that reminds me I'm not safe... not yet.
I hear screaming, in the form of the heater's mindless purr, above my head and surrounding me, endless warm air blowing, around and around and around, away!
Re command+tab, command+t, youtubenetflixemailetc: LOOK AWAY! He says deliberately, almost like he wants me to never look back
Bob dylan... looking away, always, never through, away and around and then finally at a place of realization... the aversion is dissatisfaction, but aversion to satisfaction is greater than any discomfort... the tickling nausea of something still being wrong is the greatest pain that laughter brings (the ones that walk away)... why would Mr. Zimmerman pursue satisfaction, if all it brings to the windshield of my mind is a (perceivably) inherent concern...
Re hearing things that are true but do not penetrate through: Its as if my lumps expand whenever part of me tries to pull those sentiments over them (wrap my head around), infinitely expansive and impeding of acceptance
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